Thursday, August 4, 2011

Project 31 Day 10: The Lessons of Marriage

Day 10.  What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? 

I think the better question here is what is He not teaching me as a wife.  I have learned so much since I have taken on the title of being Brandon's wife.  In case you didn't know, marriage takes work.  Yes it is wonderful, roses and butterflies, but it takes much of two people.  During our ceremony our officiant spoke these words over us and they are so true.

Marriage is a sacred relationship.  It requires much of two people- sometimes more than you feel you can  give each other. But God promises to be with you in the marriage and help you with its responsibilities. The Bible speaks of a single strand of cord as fragile and breakable, but a cord of two strands becomes much stronger.  A cord of three is stronger yet.  May your marriage always be a cord of three strands- you, your beloved, and the presence of God.

 The main thing that Jesus is teaching me as a wife is that we have to rely on Him.  Marriage does require much of two people,  but the Lord only tests the limits of one's abilities so that we have to rely on him and become dependent on his strength and grace.  As a wife, I may not always live up to my husband's expectations.  Life may throw us curveballs and challenge our relationship. But if we continue to stand under his grace and mercies we can get through anything together.  Marriage without Christ doesn't even make sense.  Marriage was created for Christ as a means for us to glorify him and to help lift each other higher in our faith.  Marriage teaches me humility.  It shows me that in order to be a good wife to my husband I have to rely on the wisdom of the creator of marriage.   

Not only am I learning to depend and rely on Christ through my marriage, but I am also learning patience.  Boy, am I learning patience.  Patience has never been one of my strongest virtues.  To be quite honest, I struggle with being patient.  This is true in  my faith and is definitely true in my marriage.  For example, I like my house to be neat.  Not like OCD neat but I like it to be picked up.  Brandon is let's just say not of the same mindset.  Cleanliness is not one of his virtues.  I have to be patient with the pile of boxers in the bathroom, the dishes in the sink, and the work clothes strewn all over the extra bedroom.  I'm learning to pick and choose my battles because often my lack of patience leads to annoyance and frustration with my husband.  I am having to learn to let him play one more round of League of Legends before asking him to pick up his undies.  I'm learning to respect our differences and try to find the common ground first.  I'm learning patience, slowly, but the Lord is growing this virtue in me through my marriage.  

I could go on and on about what the Lord is teaching me as a wife, but I will refrain.  A final thing that I am learning through marriage is to adapt and grow, to put his needs before my own, to learn to love as Christ loved us.  I am learning the true feeling of love.  The selfless sacrifice it sometimes requires.  The Bible says for wives to submit to their husbands and for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.  Now the word submit sometimes throws me off and flares my feminist urges, but what we are really called to do is to place each other before ourselves.  This is not a road we walk alone.  Sometimes we have to pick each other up, lead one another, and love the way Christ loved us.  We walk this road of life together.  We have to adapt together, grow together in love.  

Every day I learn something new as a wife.  It challenges me daily as a person, a partner, and as a Christian.  Marriage is meant to teach us things.  To help us learn from our Savior.  It is a lifelong opportunity for him to teach us and I want to embrace those teachings daily because at the end of the day I get to fall asleep next to my best friend.  Despite the bumps of this journey, the disagreements, the normalcy of marriage  I get to do all the things in my vows: I get to encourage and inspire you,  laugh with you, comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle,  love you through good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when it is simple and when it is an effort.  I get to do all of these things.  Through each of these promises the Lord is lifting me up and teaching me how to fulfill them as Brandon's wife.  I learn a new lesson every moment, every day. 

What is Christ teaching you through your marriage or relationships?

1 comment:

Kristen said...

I love this post - one of my favorites for sure!

I married my high school sweetheart at a very young age (19) and had NO idea what marriage would be like. The first couple of years were a big struggle for us. At some point, I learned to "lean not on my own understanding" and trust God's plan for our marriage. That's when our marriage really became molded into the wonderful life we live today!

Some of those lessons are so hard (compromise for me!) but as I've learned them and put them into practice, I've seen radical changes in every single aspect of my life!

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