Project 31 Day 13: Perfecting Imperfection

 Day 13.  Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

I'm not perfect.  I'm the first to admit it.  There are many things I would like to change about myself.  Some are necessary and some are my own critical eye.  Regardless of where the desire to change comes from change is necessary.  I want to continuously seek growth opportunities in my life.  

One of the main areas I want to improve upon is my patience, which ties hand-in-hand with my need to have a plan and have control.  I admittedly am a Type-A personality.  I like having a plan.  I like knowing what is coming next.  I need to be able to have control over the situation.  Being out of control, flying by the seat of my pants, is somewhat anxiety provoking for me.  This is where my patience issues come into play.  I was blessed with the gift of patience.  I get impatient, especially when there is not a plan, when there is a lack of decision making.  Now, this does not mean that I need every moment planned out with no spontaneity.  I like being prepared for what is coming next.  

The only problem is, I am not God.  I do not have it all figured out, but He does.  He is the mastermind behind my life.  When I get impatient I need to wait for the Lord.  When I get anxious about not having a plan, I need to press into my faith.  Last week, Pastor Craig Groeschel was our guest speaker at church and he gave an interesting illustration.  Jesus is the lamp unto our feet, but the lamp lights our feet not the entire journey ahead of us.  Jesus gives me exactly what I need to get through the present moment.  I don't need to question what lies ahead because Jesus' lamp moves with my feet.  I want to become more faithful and less impatient.  I want my plan to become smaller and His to become greater.  I am not in control nor should I be.